What to Say?
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Important Contacts After a Death
Who to Notify & Why It Matters
Tips and Gentle Reminders: (For police, clergy, hospice, or funeral home staff)
Keep a pen, paper, or your phone notes open to jot down key names and numbers.
Always ask for a written summary or email confirmation of next steps.
Stay calm — it’s okay to pause or ask them to repeat information.
What to Say?
Opening the Conversation (When You First Call or Speak)
“Hello, my name is [Your Name]. I’m calling because my [relationship, e.g., mother, father, spouse] has just passed away at [location]. This is very new to me, and I want to make sure I do everything correctly. Could you please guide me on what needs to happen next?”
(Pause and let them lead; this sentence communicates calm and readiness to follow instructions.)
If Speaking with Police or First Responders
“The passing was expected/unexpected. There are no safety concerns or foul play that I’m aware of. Could you please let me know if an officer needs to come by, or if I should wait for the coroner or medical examiner? Also, do I need to contact the funeral home right now, or will someone notify them?”
(Purpose: helps officials prioritize the next steps clearly and professionally.)
If Speaking with Clergy or Religious Leader
“We’ve just lost [Name], and we would like to hold a service in accordance with [faith tradition]. Could you please share what steps we should take to begin scheduling or preparing for a service? Is there specific information or documentation you’ll need from us?”
“Also, can you recommend any readings, songs, or rituals that would be appropriate for this kind of service?”
(Purpose: this keeps the call focused and makes it easier for clergy to guide them through rituals or ceremonies.)
If Speaking with Funeral Home / Director
“We’ve recently lost [Name], and I’d like to begin making arrangements. I’m still gathering information and may not have all the details yet. Could you please walk me through what you’ll need from me today?”
“Also, could you give me an idea of your basic service options — burial versus cremation, and what’s included in each — so I can start thinking about what’s best for our family?”
“Do you provide printed materials or digital versions of your pricing? And are there any time-sensitive steps I should be aware of within the next 24 hours?”
(Purpose: helps families feel in control and ask practical, necessary questions.)
Closing the Call
“Thank you for your time and compassion. I’ll follow your instructions and reach out again if I have more questions. I’m still processing everything, so I really appreciate your patience.”